Mirror, mirror on the wall...
- gemmateamyou
- Mar 26
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 2
By Gemma Hall,
The Heartbreak Recovery Coach
Mother’s Day is almost upon us. It’s meant to be a celebration, a day drenched in love, lie-ins and heartfelt cards. But let’s be honest... for many women, it’s anything but.
Maybe you’re a mum who holds everything together but feels completely overlooked. Maybe your own relationship with your mum is fractured or full of pain. Maybe you’ve experienced deep loss, a baby, a pregnancy, your own mum, or the family dynamic you’d always dreamed of.
And while the world is clinking mimosas and posting picture-perfect tributes, you’re quietly holding back tears… or rage… or just feeling numb.
So let’s say this out loud: Mother’s Day can be triggering as hell.
But here’s the thing, your triggers aren’t the problem. They’re a mirror.
A reflection of the parts of you that still need healing. They show you exactly where the work is. Not to shame you, but to wake you up. So if this day sets you off? That’s not a sign to hide, or get angry at the commercialism of it all, it’s a sign to dig in.
It’s your job to face it, feel it, and free yourself from it.
Why Mother’s Day Hits So Hard
Because it puts a magnifying glass on what’s missing.
It echoes the silence you wish someone would break.
It’s loaded with expectations, many of them unspoken, all of them heavy.
Even more so when you’re grieving or navigating family dynamics that feel like emotional landmines.
It’s not just about flowers and cards. It’s about being seen.
But here's the truth: Your triggers aren’t everyone else’s responsibility.
It is not up to the world to tiptoe around your pain.
It is not your partner's (or your anyone's) job to magically know what you need.
It’s your job to tend to the parts of you that still hurt.
And that, my love, is where your power lies.
Sarah’s Story: From “Poor me” to "Yes! Me."
Last year, Sarah [named changed for confidentiality] came to me for support with a relationship break down with her daughter.
Over 6 months we worked on her past trauma's, her triggers, her conflict style and her communication.
It's been a lot and Sarah has embraced every step.
At our coaching session this month Sarah reflected on the difference between her Mother's Day last year and the one she has planned this year.
Last year, Sarah spent Mother's Day with her husband, he brought her flowers and took her out for lunch but she felt awful. One daughter was barely speaking to her, the other was away and she didn't have a relationship with her own Mum.
It didn't matter how lovely her husband was, Sarah felt invisible. Hurt. Resentful.
When we started working together, Sarah was deep in victim mode; the place where you feel powerless, forgotten, and stuck in stories like:
“If they really cared, I wouldn’t have to ask.”
“I shouldn’t need anything from anyone.”
"Why me?"
But here’s what changed everything:
Sarah stopped waiting for someone else to save her.
She chose to take responsibility for her own emotions and reactions.
We worked together to understand the real roots of her pain, old wounds around being unseen, unheard, and not feeling good enough. We didn’t just put a pretty bow on it. We did the deep, liberating work of healing.
She realised: It wasn’t about her daughters, her Mum or anyone else. It was about her finally giving herself the love, voice and validation she’d been hoping would come from outside.
What Changed?
She got brave and honest, with herself first, and then with others.
She learnt how to communicate her needs (no more passive aggressive Whatsapp messages) and most importantly, she stopped waiting to be chosen, and chose herself.
This year?
Sarah’s walking into Mother’s Day with clarity and confidence having created the mother's day she wants. She has plans with both her daughters having healed what was broken, and is even taking her Mum out for coffee as she starts to rebuild their relationship.
They haven't changed, Sarah has.
What If That Could Be You?
If Mother’s Day is stirring up pain, resentment or sadness, please know this:
You don’t have to stay stuck in that place.
You can absolutely shift from quietly seething (or sobbing) on the sofa to calmly claiming a day that fills you up.
And I’d love to help you get there.
Ready to Stop Being Triggered?
If Sarah’s story hit home, and you’re ready to move from resentful and reactive to clear, empowered and celebrated, this is your invitation.
Book a free clarity call with me. Let’s talk about what’s really going on under the surface, and what’s possible when you
stop waiting and start creating.
Because you deserve more than one day of appreciation. You deserve to feel seen, respected, and valued every day.
And yes, you can make that happen.
Whatever Mother’s Day looks like for you this year, messy, magical or a bit of both, please know this:
You are doing an incredible job. You are worthy of love. And you’re not alone.
And if you don't like how you feel. Do something about it.
A personal note, from me to you:
I don’t speak about this stuff from the sidelines.
I’ve lived it.
I know what it’s like to feel forgotten on Mother’s Day.
I know the ache of miscarriage and baby loss.
I’ve walked through the heartbreak of infertility, grief, single parenting, and starting again after it all fell apart.
So when I say you’re not alone, I mean it.
And when I say healing is possible, I know it is.
You don’t have to keep carrying this pain in silence.
Let’s walk this path together.
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