Last Christmas I gave you my heart... now I want it back. The Christmas relationship stress is real!

by Gemma Hall, The Relationship Coach (who doesn't work with couples)

A straight-talking guide to getting through Christmas, even when your heart’s not in it.

Christmas is sold to us as sparkle, togetherness and matching pyjamas. But if you're quietly wondering “Will this be our last Christmas as a family?” or you're exhausted from feeling invisible in your own home, then the festive season can hit differently.

This blog is for you, the woman holding it all together, even when it feels heavy.

When Christmas feels heavy (and the Christmas relationship stress weighs a tonne).

Maybe you’re putting on a brave face for the kids. Maybe you're navigating your first Christmas separated. Maybe you're still together but barely holding on.

Wherever you are: you're not broken. You're not failing. You're human.

Christmas has a way of magnifying what’s already tender. But here's the truth you might have forgotten:

You get to choose how you show up, even when everything around you feels out of control.

That’s your Creator Mindset in action.

Your Creator guide to surviving Christmas without losing yourself

1. Choose your energy before the day chooses it for you

Instead of sliding into old roles, the fixer, the peacekeeper, the woman who “just gets on with it”, decide who you're going to be first.

Ask yourself:

• What energy do I want to bring into the day?

• How do I want to feel when I get into bed on Christmas night?

You get to set the tone. Not them.

2. Stop pretending you’re fine

This isn’t about dumping your feelings on anyone. It’s about not gaslighting yourself.

If you’re hurting, grieving, lonely or questioning everything… acknowledge it. When you stop fighting your own emotions, you reclaim power.

Creator Mindset = truth paired with self-compassion.

3. Boundaries: the gift you give yourself

Read that again.

This might look like:

• Saying no to taking on everything

• Delegating the cooking

• Leaving early if the atmosphere turns

• Limiting time with people who drain you

A boundary isn’t conflict. It’s clarity.

4. Shift from “Endure it” to “Create it”

Replace “How do I get through today?” with: “What tiny action can I take to make today better for me?”

Small acts of self-leadership add up. A walk, a breather, a real conversation, a moment of calm, that’s where your power is. That's how you dial down the Christmas relationship stress.

5. Remember: You’re modelling strength

Whether you have children or not, someone is learning from you.

When you choose calm over chaos…truth over pretending…boundaries over burnout…

You’re showing what emotional leadership looks like.

If Christmas makes you realise something has to change

Then listen to that voice.

You can’t keep doing the same dance and expect your relationship to magically improve.

That’s why I created The Power of One,

a 6-week transformation where you become the catalyst for change.

No waiting for your partner to “try harder.” No couples therapy.

Just you, stepping back into your voice, your strength and your clarity.

You don’t need two willing people to shift a relationship dynamic. You just need one woman who’s done shrinking.

If Christmas highlights the cracks, January can be the month you rebuild with intention, not fear.

Final thought

Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect.

It doesn’t even have to be joyful every minute.

But it can be calmer. It can be intentional. It can be kinder to you.

This year?

Choose you.

And if you want support,

The Power of One is waiting.